Billie Eilish is happier than ever. The 19-year-old Grammy winner joined Ryan Seacrest on-air on Wednesday, May 12, on the heels of breaking the internet with her new look, self-titled book, docu and forthcoming second studio album.
The singer, who Zoomed from her parents’ backyard, shared with Seacrest that she’s come a long way from being “insecure” about and hating “every aspect of fame.”
“I was really, honestly, just didn’t like it,” Billie reflected. “I didn’t want it. It’s really weird to be in the mindset and place I am now because I just used to not be in this place. … I hated every aspect of fame. … I wanted a normal life. … All I did was complain and … it just got to place where I’m happy now and I feel confident in it and it’s dope. It’s so nice to just feel differently. What a blessing is change.”
The teen added that while she’s still hard on herself, she’s grown.
“I think I like myself more, but I’m definitely still pretty hard [on myself]. But, only for certain things,” Billie said. “I think I’ve gotten happier in different ways, you know? I’ve loved growing. Getting older has been the best thing to happen in my life. … I think it’s so great to grow up and be in control of your own life. … Like, it’s so nice that we change. I would hate to stay the same forever.”
Speaking of change, the “Your Power” singer shared when it came to recording Happier Than Ever, she didn’t write at all — or draw.
“I don’t write at all [or journal anymore],” Billie shared. “For my first album, the main thing I did was draw in my journal. Like, I drew every single song … and honestly for this album, I didn’t do that. … I have maybe two drawings. … Like ‘Your Power’ I have a drawing of a girl getting wrapped with a snake … and then I have one for ‘My Future’ which is a bunch of stars and a moon before I made that video.”
“It’s interesting that I didn’t really draw for this one,” she continued. “I think that it was just so natural. I almost don’t even remember. Making this album was the most, like, honestly, therapeutic and satisfying and easy thing. … It was really hard and it was a lot of work, but it just flowed out of me I feel and really for the first time ever. … I felt like I’ve grown so much as a songwriter and as a singer. I’m getting better and better. I’m practicing. I started at 13! You see all these things like ‘Billie Eilish has a baby voice and she whispers.’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, I was a little girl, dude!’”
Watch back the full interview with Billie and Seacrest for more, including to learn how she used to vote for American Idol as a kid and fantasized about competing on the show. Plus, find out when she plans on touring again.
Stream Billie’s docu Billie Eilish: The World's A Little Blurry on Apple TV, order her self-titled book here and don’t miss Happier Than Ever when it drops July 30.